


May You Find Your Worth in the Waking World

by HootHalycon



Series: Ruthari Week 2020 (July) [1]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everyone is Ok AU, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Sad Ending, ethari dreams that runaan is ok, tia and lain never got coined, when he's not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HootHalycon/pseuds/HootHalycon
Summary: Ethari's dreams remind him of the world of beauty and love he used to know so well.
Relationships: Ethari/Runaan (The Dragon Prince)
Series: Ruthari Week 2020 (July) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819135
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	May You Find Your Worth in the Waking World

Ethari opened the door to the empty grey room, sunken with a lack of moonlight and matrimony. The bed--once a haven for languid limbs outstretched towards each other in a gentle embrace was now wrought with a too large space for someone with too heavy a grief to dispel with brief unconsciousness. Any space without the company of his supposed to be lifelong lover seemed to pour into his inner crevices that used to expel light--closing the shutters until the luminous glimmers dimmed into a quiet silence. Even dreams themselves, no matter how extravagant, felt like watching a pathetic dancing effort in an expanse grown too big for comfort due to the absence of his lover. The soft breathing previously by his side--now gone--seemed small in body, but was a world of serendipity and solace. If the elf wasn’t pressed against his chest in slumber where Ethari could watch his back rise and fall with peaceful breaths, he was perched above his messy white hair; arms wrapped protectively around his husband’s larger form, providing security even in his sleep. Ethari slept peacefully in the company of his husband more often than not. Strangely enough, this peace of mind did not depart as the other elf had briefly left the village for missions. Ethari knew he would always come back, and he carried the memory of his sleeping form pressed against his close in his mind as he would drift into slumber, into another day closer to reuniting with his lover.

Nowadays, excavating feelings of safety and hope was a fruitless task, and attempting to find brief relief in remembering such a close intimacy seemed far off and useless. Instead, he tried to think of anything he could to hope for a peaceful slumber, one that would not bring him more pain than reality did. Closing his eyes, he tried his best to still his mind and avoid landmines that would spiral into despair if he wasn’t quick enough. 

His conscious retreated into a quiet resting place before a new reality played out in his mind’s eye. It was him, standing atop the steps that led into his workshop, taking in the sights of a bountiful and radiant Silvergrove before casting his gaze downwards towards a familiar pair of legs peeking out from under a large tree. A sense of familiarity filled the craftsman as he found this promising sight before he walked as if on clouds towards the other elf. 

Coming face to face, they both smiled; the years of companionship and knowing each other so deeply coming to fruition at a simple glance. Ethari pressed his back against Runaan’s chest, a knot unravelling like a gentle ribbon in his chest as two arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him impossibly closer. The taller elf closed his eyes and allowed himself to be pulled in, a smile tugging at his lips as he felt Runaan kiss his neck, a small gesture that erupted flowers of tenderness inside of him. The warmth was followed by the languid stream of heartfelt sentences spoken delicately to him; every word a promise and confession. Closing his eyes, he let himself go limp in his lover’s arms, carried into solace by the warm notes of his voice. The words on the page became indecipherable, as all that mattered was Runaan encompassing him in every way possible. 

Suddenly, the voice nestled behind his ear began to fade, glimmering in and out of recognition. The craftsman’s eyes opened languidly as if awaking from a deep sleep before his mind shook him alert; scrambling to retrieve the voice. Turning, he tried his best to look over his shoulder, only to be cunningly beckoned forwards by an unknown source. 

_ “Just keep looking forward. What’s behind you isn’t real. You cannot attain what has been lost.”  _ His mind attempted to persuade him. Ethari fought it, digging a hand into the grass, breaking the delicate earth to find his lover. Runaan’s voice drifted in and out of earshot, reading the last sentence before a long silence drew on before a gentle thump of the book closing rang in Ethari’s chest. The despair of a finished book seemed like more than the sum of its parts--a profound hollowness found the elf again as he sat alone.

“Runaan, another book? Just one, please?” he begged, voice weak.

Before the assassin could respond, Ethari was back at the treehouse, this time inside the room he called his workshop, as he held a necklace showcasing a full moon pieced together with four puzzle pieces. A smile drew his face into a warm gaze as he observed his newest trinket for his daughter, Rayla. Eagerly awaiting the chance to give the necklace to its owner, he departed from his desk, opening the large purple doors of his home to stand on the top of the winding stairway, waiting for the two moonshadows he called his husband and honourary daughter to come into view. 

“Ugh, Runaan, you don’t have to walk me home, I’m 15.” Rayla groaned, crossing her arms and averting her gaze from the older elf. 

A barely noticeable smile crossed Runaan’s face. “Do you not count it honourable that the leader of the assassins is escorting you home?”

The girl broke her neglected eye contact to look at him pointedly. “Don’t bring your title into this. I’m still perfectly capable of walking home myself.” she countered, self-consciously looking back to see if her peers were watching the occurrence. 

“Hopefully my praises can help quell your worries. Ethari and I are very proud of the progress you’ve been making in your academics.” he said.

Rayla’s ears perked up at that, surprise flashing across her face before it melted into softness--one she let her guardian see, only partially. “Oh...thanks, Runaan.”

“You’ll be happy to know that Ethari has a surprise waiting for you at home.”

This piqued the teenager’s interest, as she moved closer to him, nudging him playfully. “Any chance you’ll give me a hint as to what it is?”

Runaan looked forward. “Not in the slightest.”   
  


“Really? Could it be a shadowpaw cub? With a cute green saddle to match--and all ready to snuggle up to me as I think of what great guardians you both are?” she sang, leaning a shoulder against his; stifling a laugh. 

“Rayla…” he shook his head, trying to dispel her of her mischief.

It was no use, as she continued to guess sillier and sillier things that she would find waiting for her at the treehouse. The assassin tried his best to not laugh for fear of it encouraging her until he looked up, finding his husband waiting for the pair. He allowed himself to relax fully, smiling with the utmost softness. Rayla bolted up the stairs, eager to pester the other man. 

Ethari took in the sight of his bright, bustling daughter--glad to be someone she looked up to and admired. He pushed his hand towards her view, unfurling it reveal the moon necklace. Rayla gasped, immediately throwing her arms around her guardian.

“Woah! Rayla, you’re going to toss it out of my grasp.” he joked.

“Sorry! Sorry! It’s...so beautiful, Ethari.” she breathed, looking between the craftsman and his creation.

Warmth filled the older elf at his daughter’s approval. Her input and opinions always meant the world to him; the girl was sincere and heartfelt in everything she did, and he hoped his crafts had the same love he felt from her. He began explaining the necklace to her, until she asked about the four puzzle pieces. 

“The four pieces represent myself, Runaan, Tiadrin, and Lain.” he started. The mention of her biological parents caused the girl to light up--she hoped for their safety everyday. 

“That’s beautiful, Ethari. I promise to take great care of it.” she affirmed, closing her hand over his.

He smiled brightly. “That’s not all. You’ll soon be seeing the other two pieces of this puzzle soon.”

Rayla looked at him in shock before looking back at Runaan, who had begun to come to meet them where they stood. “Really? When?” she asked frantically.

A chuckle left Ethari. “In two weeks. We got a letter a few days ago saying they were excused for a small portion of time, and they knew they had to see their beautiful girl.” 

The teenager’s hands flew to her face, unsure of where to put them. “I-I- wow! I can’t wait!” she looked around, confused, before engulfing the craftsman in another tight hug, earning a hearty laugh from him. “I’m so excited!” she sung in his ear.

Ethari pressed his cheek against her soft white hair; wishing it could be this way forever.

“Me too, love. Me too.”

Suddenly, the elf found himself in the middle of a large field, reds and purples flanking his step as the meadow was covered in flowers and bright sights. He gasped at its beauty; having never seen this sight, he was sure it must be somewhere far away from the Silvergrove--from anything he knew. The sunlight shimmered perfect flakes of a tranquil golden sunset across his skin, melting into his amber irises as they watched the sight before them, wide and amazed. A deep peace found haven inside of him, warming and calming him in every inch of his body. Floating was how he would describe his form, as he felt like he existed on a simpler level than possible in the waking world. Closing his eyes was tempting but he failed to tear himself away from the awe inspiring sights. This effort was quickly rewarded as another moonshadow elf came into view. Runaan strided towards him effortlessly, a bright smile on his face as his eyes looked deep into Ethari’s.

“We’re together. Look towards me, it’s just us.” he crooned.

Ethari chuckled quietly. “It’s you who gets nervous in crowds, my love. I’m the talk of the party.” he jested, taking his husband’s painted hand in his own.

Runaan accepted the gesture without blinking or moving out of step. “Just because I’m not talking to them, doesn’t mean they’re not talking about my grand efforts and sacrifices.”

The craftsman laughed wonderfully at his lover’s feigned confidence. “Oh, of course. If it’s not me, it’s another elf going on about your greatness. How could we not.” 

They moved in sync, a slow, nonsensical dance that appeared to them as it shook from their bodies. They said little as they swayed together, enjoying the infinite time and space apparent to them.

After a long moment, Runaan spoke up once more.

“I’ve been so lost in you, I forgot to thank you for your generous compliments.”

Ethari smirked playfully. “Oh, did you?” bringing a hand up to the moonshadow’s pale face, he gently stroked the soft skin of his cheek. 

Wordlessly, the assassin leaned forward, pressing his lips against his husband’s--utterly gently and blissfully, as a garden of euphoria bloomed throughout Ethari’s entire being. His feeling of floating was only intensified as the two embraced, and he found himself clutching the other elf closer to ensure he didn’t lose him.

Moments later, Runaan’s blue eyes looked into Ethari’s--warm before turning confused and lost.   
  
“My love, why are you crying?” he asked, raising a hand to the tight hands on his arms. 

The taller elf opened his mouth to say something before the bright world before him vanished into darkness, along with his beloved. His curled fingers stretched forward in an attempt to reach at the dark void. 

A strangled gasp crept up his throat as he surveyed the lost space, thrusting him back into consciousness. Ethari’s eyes flew open as he coughed awake, struggling to find his breath as he looked around the empty bedroom. Coming back to his senses, he felt his left hand outstretched on the vacant side of the bed. Hastily bringing it back to his body, he held it closely, as if the other elf had somehow touched it only moments before. His fingers delicately traced the purple marking across his palm before he swore quietly, knowing it was foolish. The cold of still wet tears on his cheeks could be felt as he exhaled into his speech. A new wave of tears, though different this time, flowed from Ethari’s face as the hollow expanse first carved in his chest from the first sight of the sunken flower returned.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @ hesbianamaya if you'd like :)


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